Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV
It is very hard for me to believe that we are getting to the end of yet another year! 2022 has flown by and soon we will be seeing all the end of year lists floating across social media. We’ll be seeing the highlight reels of people’s best moments of 2022; people will be recounting the best books they have read; the trips they’ve been on, etc., etc. We live in a culture where we know more than ever before. We know more not just about the world, science, and technology, but we know more about each other in real time than in the decades before us … at least on the surface.
I can see from my home in Pennsylvania what my cousins and their kids in Florida are doing that day. I can see what my cousin overseas had for dinner at a new restaurant he tried. I can see how my friend’s vacation went when she posts pictures on the way home before I even talk to her. From the surface, it looks like we are the most connected and happy culture in all of history. But research shows we aren’t. We are the most lonely, isolated, depressed generation that we have yet seen.
This isn’t a new topic—I’m sure you’ve heard all of it before. We talk about how “Kids these days spend too much time on their phones.” But they aren’t the only ones who are always on their phones. Perhaps this might be a problem for you too? Have you ever thought you should call a friend to see how they are doing, really doing, as you start to scroll then you see a picture of your friend clearly enjoying life, and you’re struggling so you decide to just keep scrolling? You don’t call—you’re really not up for hearing about how great someone else’s life is right now.
We see these snapshots of people’s lives and we forget that everyone has their struggles. We forget about the hard time they were going through while we were having a fabulous year. We allow self-comparison to shut us down. What is worse, we don’t just let it shut us down but we also allow it to make us a martyr. We congratulate ourselves for not calling the friend to rain on their parade and we think what a good friend we are for not calling. How messed up is this? When did we start living so superficially?
Of course, we don’t want to put all the messy details of our lives out on the internet for all to see, but we should crack open the door to our messy lives and hearts with the handful of our closest friends. Did you ever think when you are deciding not to call that friend that perhaps God put them in that position, at that time, to lift you up? Have we lost sight of the fact that we can’t all be going through the same rough patch at the same time because who would be left to be strong and lift us up? We have lost sight of that because we have bought the lie that perfect is better than authentic at all costs.
We need to have people in our lives who we can show the best and the worst of ourselves. “A cord of three strands is not as easily broken,” the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:12. Who is your second or third strand?
If you have inadvertently, or even intentionally, drifted away from some of your closest friends, I’d like to encourage you to reach out to them, be a tad vulnerable, and crack the door open. Tell them what is going on with you, and ask what is going on with them. Let them know that what you need is a friend and most likely they will be happy to share some of their happiness with you!
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