Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Philippians 4:5 NIV
I am not a naturally gentle person. I can be helpful, thoughtful, I can be a faithful friend; but gentle…eh… not so much. Patience- oh yes I need that one! Self-control- yep that’s a good one too! Surely the other fruits of the spirit that could compensate for what I might be lacking in that category. Maybe because I know this is a fruit of the spirit where I am especially lacking I subconsciously wrote it off as one of those Fruits of the Spirit that yes, I should practice cultivating but I mean really— if He wanted me to be gentle, wouldn’t He have made me a little more inclined that way?? I tended to write gentleness off as weakness, at least until I met someone who changed my view on gentleness.
There was a lady I knew at the church we attended while I was growing up. This woman was the kindest, most gentle woman you have ever met. She was soft spoken, and always focused her attention fully on you when she was speaking with you. She looked you in the eye and sincerity beamed from her. She was the epitome of gentleness. And she wasn’t weak. Her gentleness was evident to all.
If there was something that needed to be called out she would gently but firmly do so. She would voice her options when need be, and keep silent the rest of the time. Coincidentally she happened not to voice a strong opinion very often, which does give one pause to think about how many opinions we voice that are truly necessary. How many churches have suffered from unnecessary opinions being stated in a less-than gentle manner? I am not suggesting that we never voice an opinion- that is dangerous too- but oh how a gentle statement can change a whole discussion!
To this day, I have never met anyone who has embodied such Christlike warmth, gentleness, and love. Thanks to her, I no longer see gentleness as weakness, rather I see it as quiet strength and a loving attitude.
In the years since, I have moved and stopped attending that church. I have been in many different settings and met many more people. Some have been kind and gentle too, others so rough and abrasive that even I’m not an overly sensitive person, find myself having to steel myself in preparation to be around them. I don’t want to fall into that later camp of people. I don’t want to be someone that others have to prepare themselves to be around. I want others to feel warmth and kindness from me. I definitely am not there yet, but with God’s help someday I will be.
Do you know someone like that? Someone who after getting to know them, they open your eyes to qualities that you previously hadn’t taken that seriously. Sure gentleness is great- but patience! I thought, how much more important it is for me to be patient than gentle?— until I met someone who made me realize why Jesus listed all those fruits of the spirit and why they are all important. He wasn’t just listing enough so that we could easily pair them up with a common fruit for illustrations for Sunday school! No, He was listing all of them because they are all important and He wants us to cultivate all of them so that we can become more like him.