The Fear That Holds You Back

For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.

Isaiah 41:13 NIV

I have always wanted to travel but never figured I actually would do much traveling in my life. I’m not sure why I told myself I this—probably the common explanations we usually hear: it’s scary, it’s expensive, it’s difficult, etc., are some of the reasons I told myself.

These objections were a quiet sound track playing in the back of my mind from the time I was little until very recently. I remember reading in world history at a young age about the ancient Mayans and Aztecs, about the temples and structures they built; about far off lands and places that sounded so exotic, but I never really contemplated that I would actually get to see them. 

Recently, my husband and I got the opportunity to go to Mexico. I was hesitant—I mean I wanted to go the beach . . . Florida would do. How different could a beach in Mexico be? My husband wanted to go. He reminded me that we wanted to see different places and that we didn’t want to only go to the same places anytime we got the opportunity to go. I thought about it for a while and consented.  We excitedly began planning our trip—with a dose of apprehension on my part. 

We made it safely to Mexico and while there we decided to visit the Ancient Mayan ruins of Tulum. It was spectacular! The stone structures still stood, older than just about anything we have here in America. How in the world did these people build all of this without modern tools or machines!?! Built by hand and yet the structures have stood for centuries! There was a point when we were walking along a path in between the stone structures and along the edge of a cliff . . . the ocean water below was the bluest water I have ever seen.  As I glanced out seeing the mingling of gray stone, cerulean blue water, the lush green palms—I caught my breath.  I thought, “This is the kind of place that I only ever imagined seeing pictures of.”

I realize many of you reading this will be rolling your eyes over my wonder of Mexico when you have traveled to more exotic places. But the fact of the matter is that I told myself I would never actually get there, and that is what actually took my breath away. 

God gives us each desires, dreams, goals and visions for our lives, and while it is true that He calls us to things outside of our comfort zone, things we would rather not do at all, it is equally true that He gives us personalities and desire for a reason! Sometimes we think that because we want something, we will have to suffer and/or go without. We act like a life of service to Him means we will have to sacrifice any desires we ever had. We must be willing to sacrifice the desires of our heart so He can mold us into what He wants us to be. We serve a loving God who desires for us to be happy and He blesses us with lovely experiences along life’s way. 

I think of Moses who told God that he couldn’t lead a people out of slavery because he wasn’t eloquent speaker. God told him that He was the one who made mouths to speak or not speak.  I think of Esther who was encouraged by her cousin, Mordecai, that perhaps she was made queen in order to speak up when the lives of her people were being threatened. I think of Joshua when he was scared to lead the people into battle and God told him to be strong and courageous. 

What do you desire that you have told yourself that you’ll never do? God made you for a reason! Don’t ignore the desires you have; they were given to you to use, maybe not in the ways you imagined but you are to use them nonetheless.  Talk to Him about it! Do not view Him as a mean or militant father because you are too scared to step into the path He has designed for you. He gave you desires and personality for a reason. So perhaps instead of just telling ourselves a storyline of how we may never get to experience or do things we want because we must submit to Him, maybe we should really be asking why we were given a certain desire or ability, and asking what He wants us to do with it. 

Waiting for Patience

Waiting for Patience

The end of something is better than its beginning. Patience is better than pride.

Ecclesiastes 7:8

I am a fairly proficient little housekeeper. I like to do all the housekeeping things. I like to clean. I like to cook. I like to bake. I enjoy decorating my home and I take pride in my (mostly) well-kept house. But there is one area in which I am miserable in the housekeeping department—gardening.

I am not a good gardener. You’ve heard of having the green thumb? My thumb must be poisonous because I end up killing almost every single plant I own. I don’t try to kill them—on the contrary, I try to take very good care of them! But I either forget to water them, or else I water them too much; the next thing I know my once beautiful green leafy plant is reduced to a brown crinkled stick.

Things are no better for the plants that live outside. Last year I decided to get serious about sprucing up the outside of my house with flowers. I went to the store and bought seeds. That was the fun part. Then I had to plant them. Which was less fun. I think I was supposed to water them . . . not sure if I did that . . . or if I was counting on it to rain. We live in Western Pennsylvania so there is always a very good chance of rain! Then I had to wait.

I hate waiting. I love to relax: sitting and reading my book; visiting with friends around a campfire; antiquing with my husband—those are all things I love! But that is a great deal different than waiting. I wondered why waiting bothered me so much when I have always loved the idea of making a special place to sit quietly and allow one’s mind to wonder. Then, I realized the key difference responsible for my distaste. I can’t control the situation when I am waiting.

Having planted my flowers, I pretty much left them on their own. I waited. I tried to keep them watered; I even put Miracle Grow into the water so they would get extra nutrients. I waited. My patience was rewarded when they grew! Well not all of them—some of them met an untimely end with a weed-eater; but others did live, and they grew, and they even had beautiful blossoms!

Oh how the physical world mirrors the spiritual! How many times do we impatiently tap our foot at God. We sigh at Him, all the while pretending that we are being patient. We don’t fool Him. He knows our hearts. We get all upset that He is not answering our prayer the way we want or as quickly as we want. Doesn’t He hear us? Maybe we can figure this out for ourselves! Oftentimes though, His answer is just around the corner if we would just be patient and trust Him.

Room for Faith

Room for Faith

Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. 

1 Peter 3:15&16a

I was reading the New Testament the other day, it was the part where John the Baptist is preparing the way for Jesus and there was this little verse that I noticed. The verse said that John was baptizing all these people and everyone was clamoring to be baptized by him, then the verse ends by saying, “This was before John was imprisoned and beheaded.” Wow. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but my first thought was, “Well of course it was before he was beheaded!”

There are little verses like this scattered throughout the Bible; little redundant tidbits thrown in, and so, so many genealogies… Sometimes I just want to ask God why? Why was that little verse about John more important than answering whether or not you made aliens? Or what about a few verses to settle the Old Earth, New Earth debate? Once saved, always saved? Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons? There are so many things I would have loved an extra verse on over being told that John was baptizing people before he lost his head. (Well to be honest, the belly button thing doesn’t really interest me that much, but I have heard about heated debates in churches over this topic.)

My husband and I were talking over breakfast a few days later. We were discussing things like: the end times, aliens, giants, world religions, eternity, dreams, and the relativity of time—you know normal breakfast conversation—and how does all this ever fit together?! I mentioned the verse about John and said wasn’t there something more pressing we could have been told? We laughed and our conversation wound down but still my thoughts wandered to that verse.

In my pondering I believe God allowed a little clarity for me. He could have spelled everything out; but then, what of faith? There are answers to everything we need to know about Christianity in the Bible. There are thousands of clues that can be researched and compared with other ancient texts to further ground what we have already read in the Bible, to explain more of the rather material questions that we seek. However, a lot of the answers that we seek in these areas are not fundamental to the core of our faith. Some answers we just won’t know in this life. That is where faith comes in. We have to have faith that He revealed everything that we need to know. We have to have faith that the things that He didn’t tell us were not told to us for a reason. We have to trust Him.

I trust fairly easily, not necessarily quickly, but easily. I tend to not get caught up on some of the really deep theological questions. Perhaps this is because I haven’t grown my knowledge in that specific area enough to know to question it. Perhaps it’s because I was raised in a Christian home and with that comes the innate belief that this is ultimately the truth. Perhaps it is laziness; if I don’t question then I don’t have to research, opening the door for even more questioning and researching. Or perhaps it is because I have questioned and researched, and been satisfied. My pivotal questions have been answered. I have found evidence for what I believe with respect to the core tenets of my beliefs and the gray areas are just that—gray areas. It is not the faith defining questions that I get held up on. No, it’s the little things that lead to my questioning; the gray areas are where I find myself most often. Not in the black areas of darkness where no valid answers present themselves. Not in the areas of stark white clarity such as the divinity of Christ where there is no mistaking where the Bible stands, but in the gray—the areas where there is room to question, learn, and ponder. I find I grow through this process. What growth have you ever experienced from something you never questioned? Growth happens in the questioning. Faith happens in the seeking. And, in eternity we will know.

I believe the answer to my question is there must be room for questioning so that it can in turn lead to growth. To some of these questions there will not be answers in this life. That is where faith comes in. If we were given every answer there could be no faith. There would be no reason for a relationship with Christ.

I urge you to do some digging to find evidence for the faith that you have. I urge you to be able to defend your beliefs, and I urge you to revel in the gray areas, where learning, faith and trust happen. I urge you to leave room for faith.

The Moments of Our Lives

The Moments of Our Lives

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 

Luke 2:19 

Do you ever have those moments? They are the moments that take your breath away; the moments when heaven and earth collide for the briefest of instances and in their wake a tiny window opens into which we can glimpse the perfect peace that eternity will bring for believers. 

Sometimes these are life’s special moments; some of the best we ever experience here on earth. They are the moments we are sitting around a table celebrating with friends and family, and you glance around and everyone is smiling and relaxed. The moments that come filled with a transcendent peace. 

They are the everyday moments—the sunlight streaming through the clouds and touching the earth for the first time that day—a mundane occurrence, but an inimitable one. It is a moment unto itself and then in a blink it is over. They are the moments when though nothing really happened, you feel like everything has happened; the moment was filled with more weight than a moment should be able to hold. 

It is moments like these sprinkled into the everyday that make up life. They are, when it comes right down to it, the moments that define life. It is these little moments cumulative, that give shape and depth to our lives. It is these little fleeting moments that are the ones that stay with us our whole lives. The way your spouse looked at you as you came down the aisle. They moment you first lay eyes on your child after birth. The way the light caresses a loved one’s face and makes their eyes sparkle. These are the moments we will remember for eternity. They are the moments that we will remember in heaven; the perfect moments here on earth that give us a glimpse of what is yet to come on the other side of this mortal veil. 

Mary, the mother of Jesus, had these moments too. When the shepherds came to the stable and told of what they had witnessed—a sky full of angels declaring the news the Christ had come—she had a moment. The Bible says, she treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. (Luke 2:19 NIV) They were the moments that made it all seem real. Who was she to bring the Son of God into the world through her body? Yet it all happened as the angel said it would and here was tangible proof. 

Then later in that same passage the Bible says it again . . . when Mary and Joseph had accidentally lost Jesus at the temple and then found Him, they asked Him what He had been doing? They had been looking everywhere for Him!  And Jesus replies, “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my father’s house?” (Luke 2:49) Mary and Joseph didn’t really understand, but again, Mary knew this was a moment and she treasured it away in her heart also. 

What moments come to mind for you? Has there been any lately? It is so easy to get caught up in the rush of life, but it is these little, tiny moments that make life vibrant and full of color. Each of these moments, I believe, is a special gift from God, so let’s not miss them. Let’s try to slow down, even if just a little, to catch these little moments, to be like Mary and treasure and ponder them in our hearts, and file them away to remember for all of eternity.

It’s Not About You

It’s Not About You

Give to the Lord the glory He deserves! Bring your offering and come into His presence. Worship the Lord in all His holy splendor. 

1Chronicles 16:29 NLT

Do you remember when you were very young and you thought the world revolved around you? Your parents were there to take care of you and people made a fuss over you because you were little and cute and, hey, why shouldn’t they? I vaguely remember the feeling of shock (I was pretty young!) when I first started to realize that I was just one piece in a big, big world and that a vast portion of that world could care less about me.

When an elderly neighbor who had been like a grandparent to me passed away, I remember that feeling—a feeling something akin to betrayal—that the world would have the audacity to keep turning even when our corner of it had been shattered. We pause for a time over the loss of a loved one, then we slowly pick up where we left off and go about our daily lives. We start finding our new normal in the wake of a loved one’s absence. The reality of losing someone you love makes you realize that the only person whose world stops turning when you die is yours and everyone and everything else will keep going without you. It has not stopped yet for one person who has died on this earth. Loved ones may take years to get over the loss; they may never truly move on. Others will move on at a rate that may alarm us. But. The world will continue to turn. It doesn’t revolve around us.

We learn this more the older we get. We get an inkling of what real life will be like when we graduate high school. Then again when we graduate from whatever higher education, if any, that we choose, and ultimately when we are officially thrust out into the real world it always comes as a bit of a shock. I don’t mean to imply that we are all terribly self-absorbed brats for all of our formative years, or that everyone immediately grows up when we are thrusted out, but as a whole we do become intimately acquainted with these facts of life in ways that perhaps weren’t fully realized before. Many of us in the church today tend to still carry some of this self-centeredness into our spiritual walk.

I have heard many people explain why they go to church, why others should go to church, what they look for in a church, and what is important to them in a church. They may say it is important to have a great children’s ministry, or an adult outreach program, or Bible study groups, or great music, or taking time to meditate and reflect on life. All of these are important, but they are still at their heart self-centered. What about the importance of worshiping and praising God? Of glorifying Him because He is the whole reason we even exist?

We are commanded to be in fellowship with other believers, to grow in Christ, but this isn’t all. One of the fundamental principles that we are told over and over again in God’s word is that we are to worship Him. In all seasons. We are to get ourselves to church, whether it be a physical building or a house church, where we can gather with other believers, and we are to sing. To praise. To testify. And to worship our King. In all seasons. No matter what. Even when our world has crumbled. Even when we don’t feel like it. No matter what, we are to worship Him.

It’s about Him. He loves us. He wants us to be happy but He knows we will only find true joy and peace in Him. In singing His praises, in the good times and bad. It is about focusing on Him and all His goodness, rather than focusing on ourselves. It’s not about us—it is all about Him.

Gentleness That is Evident to All

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 

Philippians 4:5 NIV

I am not a naturally gentle person.  I can be helpful, thoughtful, I can be a faithful friend; but gentle…eh… not so much. Patience- oh yes I need that one! Self-control- yep that’s a good one too! Surely the other fruits of the spirit that could compensate for what I might be lacking in that category. Maybe because I know this is a fruit of the spirit where I am especially lacking I subconsciously wrote it off as one of those Fruits of the Spirit that yes, I should practice cultivating but I mean really— if He wanted me to be gentle, wouldn’t He have made me a little more inclined that way?? I tended to write gentleness off as weakness, at least until I met someone who changed my view on gentleness. 

There was a lady I knew at the church we attended while I was growing up. This woman was the kindest, most gentle woman you have ever met. She was soft spoken, and always focused her attention fully on you when she was speaking with you. She looked you in the eye and sincerity beamed from her. She was the epitome of gentleness. And she wasn’t weak. Her gentleness was evident to all. 

If there was something that needed to be called out she would gently but firmly do so. She would voice her options when need be, and keep silent the rest of the time. Coincidentally she happened not to voice a strong opinion very often, which does give one pause to think about how many opinions we voice that are truly necessary. How many churches have suffered from unnecessary opinions being stated in a less-than gentle manner? I am not suggesting that we never voice an opinion- that is dangerous too- but oh how a gentle statement can change a whole discussion! 

To this day, I have never met anyone who has embodied such Christlike warmth, gentleness, and love. Thanks to her, I no longer see gentleness as weakness, rather I see it as quiet strength and a loving attitude. 

In the years since, I have moved and stopped attending that church. I have been in many different settings and met many more people. Some have been kind and gentle too, others so rough and abrasive that even I’m not an overly sensitive person, find myself having to steel myself in preparation to be around them. I don’t want to fall into that later camp of people. I don’t want to be someone that others have to prepare themselves to be around. I want others to feel warmth and kindness from me. I definitely am not there yet, but with God’s help someday I will be. 

Do you know someone like that? Someone who after getting to know them, they open your eyes to qualities that you previously hadn’t taken that seriously. Sure gentleness is great- but patience! I thought, how much more important it is for me to be patient than gentle?— until I met someone who made me realize why Jesus listed all those fruits of the spirit and why they are all important. He wasn’t just listing enough so that we could easily pair them up with a common fruit for illustrations for Sunday school! No, He was listing all of them because they are all important and He wants us to cultivate all of them so that we can become more like him.