I always hear about life changing books and maybe I’m just a skeptic but while I find many of these “life changing books” to be thought provoking and inspiring I very rarely find it to be life changing. But now I believe I have found a serious contender as far as life changing books go.
I came across the book Rest: why you get more done when you work less, and my interest was quickly piqued by the title, and man am I glad that I did. The book starts by discussing the great thinkers and change makers from the late 19th century and early 20th century and their work habits. The author discusses how many of these people approached work, the lines that they drew between work and their personal life. The author challenges that rather than working all the time in order to win a badge of honor as it were, these people separated work and their personal life in order that they feel truly rested when they returned to work, thereby increasing their longevity in their field.
The chapter I found most interesting was that many people who were most prolific and well-known in their respective fields. People like Charles Darwin and Charles Dickens were not people who worked 60-80 hours a week, but rather ones who focused on dedicated work for 20-30 hours a week. The most influential people of the 20th century rarely broke a 40 hour work week. They didn’t work long, but they did work hard. The author stresses the importance of habit on work productivity and truly focused work. Truly focused work can be draining, and therefore a lot of these people worked in 90 minute bursts with a short break in between, followed by another 90 minute session, then there was usually a large break in the day sometimes followed up with in the afternoon with one last work session. This to me was very helpful! Think about all the side hustles out there today. There is no limit to what one can do in this day and age. But when to do it? If the greatest minds of the last century, (and the author did give examples of non genius people who followed this work model), could do all that, what could we do with a small amount of truly focused work each day, day after day?
The other chapter that really stood out to me was about “deep play”. Deep play is something you do that you enjoy and that you lose yourself so entirely that you lose track of time. The benefit of deep play is that it gives your mind a chance to rest, to wander a bit as you tinker, and perhaps will help you solve a problem that you were previously stuck on.
Other chapters in the book dwelled on the importance of sleep, what walking can do for our creative problem solving skills, and how exercise can help improve longevity in careers. While none of these topics are new, I did appreciate the nuanced approach offered in the book and found it to be very thought provoking.
While some of the advice and models set forth in the book will not work for everyone- hourly workers do not have the luxury of working a 30 hour week- there are nonetheless, little nuggets to be gleaned from this book that I think just about all of us could benefit from. If you are struggling to start a side hustle, know that you don’t have to pour endless hours into it in order to make it successful. You can effect a big difference by truly dedicating a few intense hours to it each day. If you know you need to exercise but are afraid of the time it will take away from your job- read this book and see the evidence of how it could help improve your performance and expand your career life. Lastly, if you are needing permission or a gentle nudge to pick up that hobby, go for it- there will be more benefits from it than you realize.
I’m sure there are people who will not be impressed with this book; but if you are one of the many people who like it, I myself being one too, who feel the constant need and pressure to operate at full capacity and never take time for the things that matter to you, I urge you to give this book a go, and see what you think!
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I am always on the hunt for good historical fiction since that is my favorite genre, and though I know there is already more historical fiction written than I could ever read in a lifetime, I still always feel like there can never be enough! The new year has me reviewing my 2020 reading and thinking about what I would like to read more of this year—historical fiction has made the cut again! I made the conscious effort to branch out and be more intentional in my reading in 2020. I picked up several genres that I hadn’t touched in years, and while I enjoyed them, I still want my reading life to be filled with an abundance of historical fiction, not just any historical fiction, but page turning, captivating, historical fiction!
I love looking back over the titles I’ve read in the past year and there are always a few titles that jump out at me more than others. You know the ones—they are the books that pull you in so much that you find yourself thinking of the characters more as friends than just characters in a book. Or you’ll find yourself thinking of a scene like you would a t.v. scene and realize it was from a passage in a book, painted so realistically that you got sucked into it!
Below is a list of books that I read in 2020 that sucked me right in, some of them I have talked about before, and others I haven’t mentioned. Regardless, they are all ones that pulled me in, held my interest, and painted a vibrant world that I find my thoughts still drifting back to.
The Lost Girls of Paris by Pam Jenoff I listened to this as an audiobook and I couldn’t stop!! It is told from the rotating perspective of three women, the author, Pam Jenoff, does a great job of keeping you enthralled through the entire tale. This is a story about the women spies, stationed in France, who worked for the British intelligence during World War II. One wrong move could mean death, not just for one of the spies, but for all in their network. The women are working diligently and making progress when a few odd things start to occur and it seems they may also have a spy among them…
A decade later, young Grace Heasley discovers an unattended valise tucked under a Grand Central Station bench. Opening it, she finds 12 photographs of young women, around her own age. Grace impulsively tucks the photos into her purse and leaves. Overcome with guilt for stealing the photos Grace returns later that day hoping to replace the photos—but the valise is gone!
Grace now begins to feel a responsibility to the girls in the photos and pressure to seek the owner of the valise, a task that proves near impossible. Why were their pictures being carried about in a suitcase? Grace can’t stop her inquisitive nature and so begins her journey to get to the bottom of this mystery, a journey that ends up being much more much than Grace bargained for.
Next Year in Havana by Chanel Cleeton I did not know much about life in Cuba, either before Castro took over, while he was in power, or what life is starting to look like after his death. If you want a real life depiction of what totalitarian control looks like, this book will give it to you.
Not that this book is all doom and gloom—far from it! Marisol has lived her whole life in Florida, the granddaughter of a Cuban refugee who fled to America when Fidel took over. Now that both Fidel and her grandmother have passed on, Marisol is tasked with traveling back to Cuba to spread her grandmother’s ashes, per her grandmother’s last wishes. She travels to Cuba and stays with her grandmother’s dear friend and childhood neighbor, and her handsome grandson. Escorted about Cuba by the handsome grandson, Marisol slowly uncovers family secrets she never could have imagined she’d find.
Lovely War by Julie Berry This book takes place during WW I and is narrated by the Greek Gods, which I thought was really fun! Aries tells the war scenes, Aphrodite tells the love story, and Hades tells the parts when someone dies. The story is about 4 young people who all find themselves on the war front in WW I. You will follow each one of these young people as their lives crisscross and intersect, and you will see how war will take its toll on each one of them. War takes a toll on everyone. (See my other post where I mention Lovely War Here) {5 books}
The Jane Austen Society by Natalie Jenner This book takes place right after WWII in a small village in England that has the fortune to have the home that was Jane Austen’s in the later part of her life. Throughout this book a group of people who, for their own reasons, have taken solace in Austen’s work, band together to try and save Austen’s house and her legacy.
The story was good, based on real events, the people are fictional although there were real people in the village who did what the characters in the book do, but what really pulled me into this book was the believability of the characters and the descriptions of the English village. This is one of those books that my mind wanders back to the characters, more so than to the story. Not to say that the story wasn’t compelling—it was! But if you enjoy really getting to know the characters of a book then you will be enthralled with this one.
As Bright As Heaven by Susan Meissner I bought this one for my mom and my aunt for Christmas after reading it! I talked about it at length in my post, As Bright as Heaven, but let me just say again this is one of those books that will pull you in and keep you turning pages. This book kept my interest as the story is told from the alternating points of view of the main characters, and thus always has you on the edge of your seat eager to hear from all of the characters. You will discover what life was like from the point of view of an undertaker’s family during the Spanish flu pandemic in the early 1900s.
I hope this helps give you a few more titles to check out for your future reading. Don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram and tell me about the books you have been enjoying lately!
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Part way through last year I began to feel like I was in a bit of a reading rut…it wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying what I was reading it was just that I didn’t feel I was making very thoughtful decisions about what I chose to pick up. I would finish a book, and just go to whatever happened to look good in that moment without putting much thought into it. Consequently everything I was reading was starting to seem very similar. I wanted to challenge my reading tastes, to broaden my horizons and expand my reading- at least for a test run! So I decided to challenge myself in my reading life and to pick up a few books that I would normally never venture toward and to see what happened!
I hoped not only to gain expanded reading taste, but also to round out my understanding of the world. I read to be entertained, yes, but I also read to learn, to understand different situations other than my own, and to gain a better understanding of world views that differ from mine.
But where to start with books outside my comfort zone? I didn’t want to challenge myself in my reading so much that I never ventured outside my comfort zone again! Historical fiction is my favorite genre, I like it to be fast paced enough to hold my interest, but slow enough to give paint a vivid picture of the backdrop, as well as having some meat to it for me to chew on. I decided to start with something just barely outside of my comfort zone, same time period as I enjoy reading about, but with a different tone from what I usually enjoy. So I started with, Where the Crawdads Sing.
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
I heard all the buzz about this book and finally picked it up. There is a murder committed in a small costal Georgia town and not just anyone has been killed- the high school start quarter back, the only son of the town’s car dealer, everybody loved him it was said- so who killed him? Then there is Kya, a young girl abandoned to fend for herself in the swamp area of the town, people think she is strange, she is a definite loaner- is she the killer? Will she be the scapegoat? It took me a little while to get into this book but one I did I was hooked! The plot kept me guessing till the end although in hindsight I feel like I should have figured it out sooner. I would not categorize this book as a light read though, there are scenes with domestic violence, abuse, and abandonment. There is a mournful windswept quality about this story. The author does a fantastic job of bringing the town and swamp area to life, I didn’t feel like a struggled to picture anything the author was talking about, and though the book carries a heaviness with it it does get brighter as it moves along. No my favorite type of read but still one that I am glad that I read!
After finishing, Where the Crawdads Sing, I wanted something a little more upbeat and light. So the next book I went for was, The Perfect Couple.
The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand
After reading Summer of ‘69, I found myself wanting to read more by Ms Hilderbrand! The perfect couple is about a couple about to get married on Nantucket. They seem happy, both families are pleased with the match but things get turned topsy turvy when on the morning of the lavish wedding the maid of honor is found dead on the beach. Was she the intended victim? Who would do such a thing? Why? Weren’t the bride and groom supposed to be the perfect couple? As the police investigation unfolds we find out that there are indeed much more going on behind the scenes…. This was a fun summer read that absolutely kept my interest, there were a few thought provoking questions to ponder but this is definitely on the lighter side- kick back and enjoy!
How to Be Married, by JoPiazza
This book too I had heard about on a podcast. It is the personal story of a travel journalist who after just about giving up on finding Mr Right, finds him at the last minute and gets married- only to realize she has absolutely no idea how to actually be married. Strong and fiercely independent she doesn’t want to give up her freedom- but how do you compromise in marriage without sacrificing who you are? She decided to use the opportunities she has as a travel journalist and to interview women on 7 different continents to see how they have learned to be married, and how marriage differs from country to country. As someone who is not as well traveled as they would like to be I really enjoyed seeing a glimpse into different cultures! Be forewarned though- this book had more swearing than I was anticipating and definitely more than seemed necessary.(Is any necessary?)
Open Book by Jessica Simpson
I enjoy reading memoirs and autobiographies so I decided to pick up something in the same vein but not about one a distant historical figure so I chose Open Book by Jessica Simpson. I, of course, knew who Jessica Simpson is, but as I have never been one to follow pop culture very closely, I didn’t know very much about her. She came from a solid middle class family, tried and failed at a few auditions before finally getting her first break with a recording studio. She has since been on reality tv shows, (in the early days of reality tv), acted in several movies and launched the first celebrity clothing line to make a billion dollars annually. Jessica also talks about her personal life and struggles which she has dealt with over the years. Jessica is a very good story teller and this was a very engaging read!
Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
This book had the least correlation to books that I currently enjoy reading. I had heard so much about this book- like so much. From being a pick in Reese Witherspoon’s book club, to hearing it talked about on podcasts I had high hopes for this novel. Perhaps my hopes were a little too high because this book did not quite meet my expectations. Little Fires Everywhere was about a mother and daughter who move to Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s and essentially the little metaphorical fires that occur in their wake, though not directly their fault. The mother, Mia, was an art student and has never followed society’s norms. She pursues her art, packing up and moving with her daughter when the notion strikes her. This was facer paced read that kept me turning pages, and did touch on many topics that be good fodder for a book clubs; topics ranging from the struggle of an immigrant mother, to abortion, to being considered strange for not fitting in with societal norms. It also had more swearing than I was prepared for. While I’m not sorry I read it, and it posed questions worthy of deeper thought, I won’t be rushing to read more of this type.
Overall I am very happy that I decided to challenge myself in my reading life. I really enjoyed most of the books that I tried and now have a greater understanding of what I enjoy in a book. It isn’t just the setting but also the topics, tone, and imagery used within a book that all make a significant contribution to how much I enjoy my reading experience. I now have a better understanding when branching of what I may enjoy vs. what I probably won’t enjoy, with the added benefit of being able to discern better with in my favorite genre what I will really love instead of just thinking that it is ok.
A Few Tips to Help your Challenge Your Reading Life
What about you? Could you stand to branch out in your reading life? Here are a few tips to get you started! Give it a try! If you’re afraid you won’t like it just remember
Try something similar to what you already like to read, if you already enjoy a certain setting for your books, like stories that take place at the beach for example, then try keeping the setting but time era.
If you like a certain tone to your reads; fast paced, slow, dark, wistful, etc., try finding a book that has a similar tone but totally different setting.
Don’t be afraid to quit a book if you really just can’t make it! We don’t like to be quitters, but really if you are reading something for leisure and are a good part of the way through and still not enjoying it just quit. That book may not be for you but there are tons out there still- go try one of them!
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I have stated time and time again how much I love historical fiction, and I am noticing that a subgroup in this genre that I enjoy is biographical historical fiction, where the story is built around what is known about the person from his or her own words, letters, and life events. In addition I absolutely love learning about the revolutionary war and the founding of our country. I can’t get enough of historical fiction from this time period.
Therefore you can imagine my excitement when I found, “America’s First Daughter about Martha “Patsy” Jefferson Randolph, Thomas Jefferson’s Daughter. Here was a book about the revolution, a closer glimpse into Jefferson’s personal life, told through the lense of Thomas Jefferson’s eldest daughter. I started listening to it as an Audio book and at first I was really enjoying it…. then I felt like it started to drag…. Now let me say that reader of the audio book has a very slow reading pace, and honestly I think that impacted how I experienced the book, I believe that if I had nudged up the reading pace it would have held my interest better, as it was I was probably only about a third of the way through the book when it began to feel like a slog.
The other component is that Martha did not lead an overly joyous life, there were happy times, but oh so many hard times too. This book accurately portrays the struggles of the day in the new nation as well as Martha’s personal struggles too. A turbulent childhood at times spent fleeing th British, gave way to a fairly happy adolescent spent abroad in Paris as a diplomat’s daughter, then giving way to a marriage colored by abuse. As a woman in the 18th and early 19th century Martha was no stranger to commonplace domestic violence, the loss of children, as well as financial struggles. I would never wish when reading something of this nature for the authors to paint a rosy picture that did not exist in real life- and there were bright spots to Martha’s life, her close relationship with her father for one- but readers should be prepared to spend time with Martha mourning the loss and traveling with her through the trails of her life, when they pick up this book.
I then saw that the same Authors, Laura Kamoie and Stephanie Dray, had written another book, My Dear Hamilton, which is the life story of Elizabeth Hamilton, better known as Eliza Hamilton. Should I read My Dear Hamilton when I wasn’t thrilled with America’s First Daughter? I was apprehensive to pick up this book but, as I said earlier, I can never resist a book that takes place during the American Revolution, I went for it. I am so glad I did!! I enjoyed learning the story of Eliza Hamilton as well as learning about Alexander Hamilton, one of the founding fathers that really doesn’t get the attention he deserves- probably due in part to the fact that he never became president.
Eliza’s life was not perfect either; loss, scandal, betrayal, and heartbreak were defiantly written across Eliza’s life story. So were happiness, success, fulfillment, and reconciliation. Maybe because this book dwelt more on the happy times of Eliza’s life than America’s First Daughter did on Martha’s, I found My Dear Hamilton to be a very compelling read. I got immersed in Eliza’s world, in the turbulence of the time and I learned of the very interesting life of Alexander Hamilton, a founding father who was a model of the American dream, starting with nothing, and working his way up to eventually be founder of the American Treasury. I also learned how fragile the new nation was, we think because we won the Revolution that everything was fine, but things were much more precarious than that!
Both books tell the stories of strong and resilient women, who along with their famous relatives, fought to forge the great country we have today. In reading either of these books you will become enmeshed in turn of the century America and you will learn a lot about the struggle it took to bring forth this nation.
When I compare the stories of the two women I see that both lived lives of much hardship. Neither led easy lives, however if you read America’s First Daughter and weren’t thrilled, I urge you not to let that stop you from picking up, My Dear Hamilton, and give it a try! Regardless of which book you choose the authors do a wonderful job of bringing both of these women back to life. Both Patsy and Eliza, emerge from the pages as fully formed people with all the flaws and character quirks that we all have. Ms Dray and Ms Kamoie are great writers who you can tell have taken great pains to flesh out their character without changing who these women were. Pick up either book and you will be dropped into a rich portrait of colonial America.
We are nearing the end of January and that is usually when all these big dreams that we had a few weeks ago stop feeling exciting and instead just feel hard. We want them but sometimes the path there just seems so long and hard. If this is you and you are needing a little boost to keep plodding along towards your goals for this year then check out the book, Find Your Extraordinary by Jessica Herrin.
Ms Herrin is the CEO and founder of the Stella and Dot Family Brands. Before building that company she built Della and James which you may know by its current name, WeddigngCahnnel.com. So she knows a thing or 2 about knowing what you want and going for it- and achieving your dreams in the process!
One of the things that I appreciated about this book is that Ms Herrin clarifies from the beginning that success equals happiness. Not money. Not fame- happiness. She then takes you through her story, guiding you in what steps to take if you would like to find your own extraordinary life.
She talks about how to start believing in yourself beyond what you have reason too- you can’t think that you aren’t someone who can do the hard thing simply because you haven’t done it yet! You have to believe that you really can. Be afraid, then get over it. Be ok with going after your dreams alone, others may not get it, but if you know that is what you really want- go for it!
Then Ms Herrin discusses what she calls, “The Six P’s of the Entrepreneurial Spirit. First you have to find your passion. That’s fun but then you have to choose the Path of least regret and you may have to sacrifice things you enjoy but remember you’ll be doing the things that awakes the passion within you. Third, she talks about the power of a positive mind. This isn’t just about believing it will be ok but instead about how to work through difficult thoughts and doubts that are real and could happen. 4th, she talks about the people in your life, are you surrounding yourself with people who help you to grow? What about the people who are holding you back? She then talks about perseverance, she shares times in her life when the going got tough and she had to stick with it. The last P is Productivity and she discusses how to prioritize. There are always going to be tons of things to do- but what absolutely, positively has to get done, and what would just be nice if it was accomplished? She closes talking about the power of gratitude and finding the people who will come around and support you.
Even if your dreams are not of the entrepreneurial type, there is still a lot you could glean from this book. This isn’t a book about building a business, but rather about building a life. And not just any old life, but one in which you find true success through happiness- a life in which you find your extraordinary.
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A fresh new year has begun! I love the newness that comes with the changing of the calendar. A new year is a chance for a clean slate and to switch up things, to evaluate what is or isn’t working well and to make plans to do differently in the upcoming year. As I look back over my list of books I read in 2020 there are several that stand out as good companions that will help you on your way when you get the urge to change things up! These books will help motivate you to change, help you to put practices into place to build new habits, help you dig to the root of what you should be doing with your life and why, and ultimately help you to build the life you want! I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!
Essentialism- by Greg McKeown
This book is all about getting to the core of what is most important to you, what are the things you were put on earth to do? What helps to further your goals and what distracts your from them? It may seem like a harmless meeting to have, it is a good cause to lead, but what is it really costing you? Is that project that you’re head of a good thing but not nearly as important as spending time with your kids? Is that side line of work a good revenue maker but ultimately detracting from your major life mission? It’s time to dig deep and get strategic!
Better than Before, by Gretchen Reuben
Ms Reuben really breaks down all the things habit related; why habit matters, how habits are formed, and how to most easily and effectively implement new habits into your life. Habits are what we do without thinking about it. They take away the need to make decisions and free up mental space to allow for us to concentrate our efforts on what matters most to us. If you have had trouble developing new habits in the past give this book a try!
The Compound Effect- by Darren Hardy
This book is great because it stresses the fact that it’s not necessarily the big things in life that make the biggest change in our lives but rather the small things. The little minute changes that you make day after day, that compound on top of each other and add up a big difference over a year or more. A lot of books on creating new habits can be overwhelming, but since this book stresses the importance of small wins you can come away feeling encouraged by a small change that you made!
Off the Clock- by Laura Vanderkam
Feel like there’s never enough time? Want to get more enjoyment out of the things in life that you do have time for? Ms Vanderkam discusses how its not always about the amount of time that we do have but rather is about how we approach it. As a time management expert, Ms Vanderkam also discusses how to prioritize to ensure that you are making time for what matters most to you, so you can spend time on that- and not things that don’t matter to you. I do a pretty good job of squeezing every precious minute out of my day and still there were tips in here that I hadn’t thought of!
The Next Right Thing- by Emily P Freeman
Do you suffer from decision fatigue? Do you ever feel paralyzed by the consequences on decisions could bring? You are not the only one! Whether it’s the dollar menu or a major life change sometimes it’s nearly impossible to decide… and what if we choose the wrong option? Ms Freeman talks about how it’s not always important to know what the next 5 steps will be, a lot of the time it’s just about the next right step. We wear ourselves out making every decision feel like the end all be all but it rarely is.
See other discussion about Books here on Essentially EmmaMarie
