And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?
Esther 4:14b
Imagine what it must have been like to be Esther. She is in many ways the quintessential fairy tale story. The orphan turned queen, that then saves her people from their destruction. Low in class and status, what a shock it must have been to hear the nationwide call for all eligible young women to report to the palace for a year of preparation for the beauty contest of the century- the winner will be the next queen! How exciting- until we find out that the reason the king is in need of a new wife is because he killed his last one and is sorry about that now. Whoops.
Esther dutifully packs her bags and heads to the palace. Before she leaves though, she is encouraged by her cousin, Mordeci, (the cousin that took her in and raised her), not revealing that she is a Jew. Why ever not, Esther probably had no idea, but Mordeci did work at the palace and he provided for her and loved her so she listened to him and did as he asked.
Imagine the anxiety and anticipation she felt when at last that long year is over and the time comes for her to walk before the king. Maybe at this point she was annoyed- a whole year of her life gone- what really are the chances she will be picked?
But then the impossible happens and the orphan becomes queen. The best of the best at her disposal, a staff to wait on her every need everything seemed to be going well, until she overhears a plot to kill all the Jewish people in the kingdom. Stricken Esther goes back to her cousin Mordeci and tells him of a horrible plan.
He tells her she must go to the King. Going to the King unbidden was an act that she could potentially be killed for; the King had a scepter which he could extend to anyone who appeared before him unbidden and thus save their life… But there was no guarantee that the King would do this. Mordeci tells her. That she must take this risk- that perhaps God made her for a time such as this.
How many times in our day to day lives do we get frustrated with our seemingly insignificant contributions to the world? I think of this verse when I start feeling like my day to day contributions aren’t making any impact. Most of us won’t be in as lofty of a position as Esther, but what if I get to be a Mordeci? What if I was put on this earth to be the springboard for what others need to do their life’s work? What if I am one simple sentence away from accomplishing one of the main things God put me on this earth to do?
The next time you want to throw in the towel because your day seems boring, that you can’t see any progress or purpose in your menial tasks. Stop and ask yourself; what if you were put on earth for a time such as this? What if in accomplishing the insignificant you end up accomplishing the significant? Instead of telling yourself that what you are doing doesn’t matter, stop yourself. Because it does matter. You matter.
Are you a Clean Slater or a Transitioner? Let me explain; a Clean Slater is someone who keeps all their decor the same throughout the entire season. They put all their fall stuff up, they take it all down and put all their Christmas stuff up. A Transitioner is someone who around now starts itching to pull out their fall stuff but it might seem a little early to them; they don’t want to pull everything out so they pull out a few things, little my little. I know for me here in Western Pa, I can really struggle to pull out the fall decor before it gets cool outside- I don’t want summer to think I’m rushing it away! We usually enjoy warm weather, or at least warm-ish, until the middle of October and while September is back to school and the leaves start to change, I usually end up vacillating back and forth until the 3rd weekend in September, when I break down and pull out my fall decor. (The third weekend is the actual start of fall according to the solstice.)
But no matter when you decide to officially transition over all your decor; you can start to sprinkle in decor of the coming season with a few simple “hints” of what is to come. Just like outside it is nicer when there are hints of the coming change rather than an abrupt out with the old and in with the new.
Change Out your Door Hanging
I like to start with changing out the wreath on my front door because it is what people see first. Setting the tone upon entry to your house makes a good first impression and sets the expectation for what will follow on the inside. This doesn’t mean just for visitors either- you get to enjoy a lovely first impression of your house too! Its like your house is saying, “Welcome Home!”
Fall flowers
Maybe you decorate with fake flowers- maybe you decorate with real flowers- either way fall is a great time to grab a few mums for outside your door, or a bouquet of sunflowers to add some color inside!
White Pumpkins
I tend towards the traditional side of things when I’m decorating so I enjoy the classic fall colors; I like the reds, golds, oranges and creams rather than a muted palette of white, green and blushes which have become popular over the past few years. I think these new colors are lovely- they just aren’t quite what I love right now! But regardless of your specific color scheme I think white pumpkins scattered about your decor add the perfect “not too fall” fall touch to things.
Fruit Can be Decor!
Apples arranged in a tiered serving stand, Brussel sprouts and fall squash in a big dough bowl or tray, the options and combinations are limitless when you start playing with decor that you can also eat!
Moss Balls, Pine cones and Acorns- Oh My!
If you have used some beautiful moss balls to add color to your decor don’t feel the need to take them down right away! Instead add the feel of fall but tucking a pine cone or two into your vinettes. Scattering a few acorns on a surface will also help add hints of a coming season change.
Add a Throw
As the weather, for us in the north at least, starts to cool off and the days take longer to warm up it is time to pull out a few throws to warm up your decor. Adding a plaid throw will definitely speak of fall, but also try adding some striped throw, and keeping the texture more of a cotton or linen. This will keep your decor from looking too warm and wintry.
Pillows
One of my favorites! Who doesn’t love a cute fall pillow? If you’re hesitant to pull out the pumpkin and fall pillows then follow the same rule as you did for throws and either pick a plaid or a solid in a fall color; gold, orange, red, deep magenta or navy- any super saturated color will get the message across that we are no longer fully in summer anymore! Come join me on Instagram at @essentiallyemmamarie or share some photos by sending me an email at essentiallyemmamarie@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you and in the meantime- happy fall y’all!
His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22b-23 ESV
It had been one of those Saturdays. The kind that you look forward to all week only for it to arrive in a flurry of activity which leaves you finishing up odds and ends late into the evening when you wanted to be reading your book in bed. At least that’s what I would have rather been doing Saturday night rather than folding laundry. I ended up crawling into bed later than I wanted, feeling depleted rather than filled, and stressed about the few last things I hadn’t been able to cram into my day. I made the last minute decision though to get up a little early the next morning and squeeze in a hike with my dog before church.
My alarm went off the next morning and I thought about hitting snooze but I could already see the bright sunlight of a gorgeous day just beginning streaming through the window. I got up, pulled on my hiking clothes, and made a cup of coffee before hitting the trail.
The August weather was already warm and a little steamy as I pulled into the trailhead with my dog at 7:00am, but still comfortably so. We started hiking. The path was empty and the woods still, except for the songs of the birds above our heads. The foliage was lush and green with the dew still dripping lightly from the leaves. The sun was peeking through the branches overhead and the water droplets, falling from the trees, sparkled as they fell to the ground. The earth smelled fresh and clean and, as we walked along, I felt myself renewing as well.
It’s so easy after a long day to start fussing and despairing over all the leftover chores that still need to be done. However, just as the earth emerges in the morning; shining and refreshed, having been washed clean the previous evening’s dew; so I find it with my spirit. I find myself refreshed, renewed, calmer. I think this is why in His word God reminds us that His mercies are new every morning. Nothing lasts forever, though there may be long seasons of darkness, many of our everyday concerns will diminish overnight reminding us that there is always grace for a new day.
I had been looking forward to reading Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Four Tendencies, for a while now and it did not disappoint! This book cIassifies four basic personality types and offers insights into each one ranging from how to better understand family members, to tips on how to get your coworkers to clean up their dishes in the break room!
Ms Rubin’s premise for The Four Tendencies, is that there are 4 basic personality types; the Upholder, the Obliger, the Questioner, and the Rebel, which she has identified through studies conducted via her website. While everyone has a unique mix of all of these tendencies, everyone has one tendency that is dominant. This categorization of personality types is helpful because 1) It is fairly easy to identify each type, and 2) the Four Tendencies assessment is very reaction driven. While every personal assessment tool is helpful to better understand ourselves and in working with others, the Four Tendencies offers tactical tools on both how to understand our reactions, and the reactions of others. Knowing how we are predisposed to react in a given situation and why is key to then being able to manipulate the situation in order to drive the best results. The same is true with others; when we know going into a situation that an approach will most likely be perceived we can then alter our approach accordingly.
The Upholder
The first tendency is the Upholder. Upholders are the people who have very little problem setting and keeping New Year’s resolutions. When they say they want to start running in the mornings, or meditating before bed they generally follow through with it. Nothing gets an Upholder more excited than a brand new planner! They thrive on having a schedule and sticking to it. In a work situation Upholders are the ones that you know you can trust to get something done when you tell them to do it. They tend to unquestioningly obey rules that are placed before them. They can tend to be a little rigid and uptight and don’t like to have plans change on them at the last minute. Upholders also tend to have a strong sense of self preservation, they can sense when they are approaching burnout and will usually combat against it. Similarly while they may want to make others happy and be accommodating they have no problem saying no when they are at their limit. Upholders have the advantage of being able to keep habits and routines for their lives but they do have to work to remember that it is ok to allow for flexibility in their schedules to work around others and this does not mean that their lives are falling apart!
The Obliger
The second tendency Ms Rubin identifies is the Obliger. Obligers are the ones we know we can count on, though they can’t necessarily count on themselves. They are the people who are all about keeping others happy; they can be counted on to just about always be obliging to others. But that’s the key, they need external accountability. Obligers have a very hard time keeping to a new habit or resolution simply because they have said that they will. Most obligers have given up ever making New Year’s resolutions because they know they will not keep them. Rather they need to confide in someone who will follow up and see if they are sticking with their new resolution. Obligers thrive when they have someone else counting on them. The trick for obligers is to make sure they have external accountability built into their everyday lives. A large percent of the population are obligers.
The Questioner
The third tendency is the Questioner. The questioner is the one who needs to know why. Why is that new rule needed? Why shouldn’t we eat donuts for breakfast every morning? Are donuts even that bad for us? For the questioner is not a matter of rule or no rule, it is a question of whether they find that rule arbitrary or not. If they can be convinced by a reason, that is valid to them, that something is worth doing, then they will. If not, then they won’t. While questioners can generally keep a resolution or habit if they set their mind to it, they find a date such as January first arbitrary. When dealing with a Questioner don’t waste your breath telling them that they should do something, rather explain the research behind why they may want to and allow them time to do some of their own research. Questioners do have to come to grips with the fact though that there is always more research that can be done and eventually it is time to take action- preferably before they drive their friends and family crazy! A large percentage of the population are also questioners.
The Rebel
The last tendency is the Rebel. While this is the smallest percentage of the population I’ll guarantee that you know at least one rebel- they are hard to miss! Rebels hate to be told what to do, even if it’s something that they want to do or work on in themselves, when they start telling themselves that they should or must do something all over. Rebels will generally never make a New Years resolution, because saying that they have to do something will make them rebel! Instead rebels need to tell themselves that they can do whatever they want. That is how others can best work with rebels. By explaining how and why they need a rebel to do something, but ultimately leaving it up to them as to how, when, or even if they want to do it. The more you can make the rebel think something is their idea, and leave it up to them the better the results for everyone!
Still confused about which one you are? The Four Tendencies also includes a questionnaire so you no longer have to wonder. This is one of those rare books that is not only fun and engaging to read, but one from which you will surely glean at least one,(if not many), nuggets to take away and start implanting right away! Get your own copy of the Four Tendencies here:
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I have an affinity for old things. Antiques, vintage items, the newspaper that’s five years old that I’ve held onto for some reason- I love them all. I love the connection to the past that these items bring, the headline on the newspaper that seemed so monumental at the time, but has long since ceased to be of any import. The mysteries that are held within the pages of an old book; whose hands held it? How many owners has it had? What stories could it tell of all the places it has lived? Then there’s Bobbsey Twin book that my grandmother read in the 1930s that now has become a part of my decor, how little she must have been when she first read it!
My husband and I love going to museums, antique stores, thrift shops, and estate sales- these are some of our favorite pastimes. It’s amazing the little bits of everyday history that are uncovered in these ways. I once stumbled upon a Mother’s Day card sent from Germany in the very early 1930s with a swastika on it; before it became the notorious symbol that it is today. Let us never forget how quietly atrocities can begin.
There is an old little basket perched on my piano, a miniature picnic style basket. In its tiny depths are antique handkerchiefs. Made and embroidered by my Great-Grandmother, my Grandmother, and Great Aunts. They are so delicately embroidered. I find it very interesting that in their hard daily life consisting of farm labor and no electricity that they found time to slow down and grace their lives with the finery of a hand embroidered handkerchiefs which have since endured nearly 100 years. By contrast we rush through life using disposable tissues, throwing them away and rushing on with our day. I think amidst these very mundane objects there is a lesson.
What will we leave in our wake? When we are gone and only our dust covered belongings remain what stories will they tell? Will they speak of a life lived in rushed excess; the hasty accumulation of more, but never pausing to enjoy any of it? Or will they tell of times spent simply and quietly with the people we held dear? The evening spent embroidering around a kitchen stove after a long day of field work. The delicacy and gentleness of a delicate handkerchief to offset the crudeness of farm life. Items such as these handkerchiefs tell of a life where hard work was mandatory, but rest was mandatory too. Where hustle was needed but family was needed more. Of a time not oh-so long ago when we settled in and took a deep breath before rushing off to the next thing.
This is what I see when I look at these artifacts from the past. Whether these items are passed down from my family or passed casually in a store; they serve as reminders for me to rest, to press pause, and take a moment to breathe. They are a reminder that time will pass whether we notice or not. Most likely too quickly in any regard, so let us hold onto this moment while it exists for all too soon it will pass as well. In the end, after we are gone our things will remain, at least for a little while, and they will tell a story about us- will it be the story we want them to tell?
