Living In Possibility

Living In Possibility

by | Feb 27, 2021 | Grace Notes

I spend a lot of my time telling myself no, living on a schedule and generally doing my best to make sure everything stays on track and progresses as I want it to. And when it doesn’t? Well I get upset of course, and then I buckle down, analyze, over analyze and figure out best I can to never let it happen again.

I have lived in a self appointed confinement. Full of rules I’ve made, as if life can be boiled down to a simple formula. As if I alone have the power to control life and make it exactly what I want it to be- but only if I never stray from the course I have set. I was always moving, running, racing at a frenetic pace to get to the next thing but then I had a realization- what if I just didn’t? Sure there are some things that must be kept on top of, but what if instead of living in the world of scarcity that I had created for myself, what if I believe that there were endless possibilities for my life?

There are, you know, endless possibilities. There are endless possibilities of things we can do, vocations we can have, and places to live. And you know what else? Most decisions are not life defining. Way may lead on to way as Robert Frost says in his poem, “The Road Not Taken,” but that doesn’t mean that we can’t transfer paths further up the road. We miss a section of a road, but that doesn’t mean we can’t transfer over to it later if we truly regret having not taken it.

What if instead of assuming there is one path for our lives and that no matter what we must stick with it, what if we lived asking, “what next?” What if we dwelt in the possibility of what our lives could be rather than just assuming that this is all there is. Yes, some commitments we do have to live with; our spouse, children, even pets are with us for the long haul! But there are so many possibilities still open to us.

I remember when my husband and I got engaged at the ripe old age of 19, and people asked why? Why tie ourselves down at such a young age? Didn’t we want to travel, and do things, have freedom? The answer was yes we did! We just happened to want to do all those things together! We filtered our marriage through the lense of possibility, of what all we could do together, not what we were giving up; and since we kind of liked each other, we still haven’t found that we missed out on anything!

I think the key to living in possibility is to view your current situations as guardrails rather than gates. Certain options are off limits, lest we go careening off a cliff, but guard rails don’t stop us from turning at safe intersections, and we pass through many more of life’s intersections than we even realize, because our preset gps tells us to go straight, so why wonder what is down the road to the right?

I am choosing to live in the possibility, to see the world through the lense of what can still happen, not living in confinement of the choices I have already made. I choose to see possibilities instead of restrictions. I choose to see roadblocks as something to be overcome, not a sign to turn around and go back to from where I came.

What about you? What do you choose today?

Why I Challenged Myself in My Reading Life Last Year

Why I Challenged Myself in My Reading Life Last Year

by | Feb 24, 2021 | Book Nook

Part way through last year I began to feel like I was in a bit of a reading rut…it wasn’t that I wasn’t enjoying what I was reading it was just that I didn’t feel I was making very thoughtful decisions about what I chose to pick up. I would finish a book, and just go to whatever happened to look good in that moment without putting much thought into it. Consequently everything I was reading was starting to seem very similar. I wanted to challenge my reading tastes, to broaden my horizons and expand my reading- at least for a test run! So I decided to challenge myself in my reading life and to pick up a few books that I would normally never venture toward and to see what happened!

I hoped not only to gain expanded reading taste, but also to round out my understanding of the world. I read to be entertained, yes, but I also read to learn, to understand different situations other than my own, and to gain a better understanding of world views that differ from mine.

But where to start with books outside my comfort zone? I didn’t want to challenge myself in my reading so much that I never ventured outside my comfort zone again! Historical fiction is my favorite genre, I like it to be fast paced enough to hold my interest, but slow enough to give paint a vivid picture of the backdrop, as well as having some meat to it for me to chew on. I decided to start with something just barely outside of my comfort zone, same time period as I enjoy reading about, but with a different tone from what I usually enjoy. So I started with, Where the Crawdads Sing.

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

I heard all the buzz about this book and finally picked it up. There is a murder committed in a small costal Georgia town and not just anyone has been killed- the high school start quarter back, the only son of the town’s car dealer, everybody loved him it was said- so who killed him? Then there is Kya, a young girl abandoned to fend for herself in the swamp area of the town, people think she is strange, she is a definite loaner- is she the killer? Will she be the scapegoat? It took me a little while to get into this book but one I did I was hooked! The plot kept me guessing till the end although in hindsight I feel like I should have figured it out sooner. I would not categorize this book as a light read though, there are scenes with domestic violence, abuse, and abandonment. There is a mournful windswept quality about this story. The author does a fantastic job of bringing the town and swamp area to life, I didn’t feel like a struggled to picture anything the author was talking about, and though the book carries a heaviness with it it does get brighter as it moves along. No my favorite type of read but still one that I am glad that I read!

After finishing, Where the Crawdads Sing, I wanted something a little more upbeat and light. So the next book I went for was, The Perfect Couple.

The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand

After reading Summer of ‘69, I found myself wanting to read more by Ms Hilderbrand! The perfect couple is about a couple about to get married on Nantucket. They seem happy, both families are pleased with the match but things get turned topsy turvy when on the morning of the lavish wedding the maid of honor is found dead on the beach. Was she the intended victim? Who would do such a thing? Why? Weren’t the bride and groom supposed to be the perfect couple? As the police investigation unfolds we find out that there are indeed much more going on behind the scenes…. This was a fun summer read that absolutely kept my interest, there were a few thought provoking questions to ponder but this is definitely on the lighter side- kick back and enjoy!

How to Be Married, by JoPiazza

This book too I had heard about on a podcast. It is the personal story of a travel journalist who after just about giving up on finding Mr Right, finds him at the last minute and gets married- only to realize she has absolutely no idea how to actually be married. Strong and fiercely independent she doesn’t want to give up her freedom- but how do you compromise in marriage without sacrificing who you are? She decided to use the opportunities she has as a travel journalist and to interview women on 7 different continents to see how they have learned to be married, and how marriage differs from country to country. As someone who is not as well traveled as they would like to be I really enjoyed seeing a glimpse into different cultures! Be forewarned though- this book had more swearing than I was anticipating and definitely more than seemed necessary.(Is any necessary?)

Open Book by Jessica Simpson

I enjoy reading memoirs and autobiographies so I decided to pick up something in the same vein but not about one a distant historical figure so I chose Open Book by Jessica Simpson. I, of course, knew who Jessica Simpson is, but as I have never been one to follow pop culture very closely, I didn’t know very much about her. She came from a solid middle class family, tried and failed at a few auditions before finally getting her first break with a recording studio. She has since been on reality tv shows, (in the early days of reality tv), acted in several movies and launched the first celebrity clothing line to make a billion dollars annually. Jessica also talks about her personal life and struggles which she has dealt with over the years. Jessica is a very good story teller and this was a very engaging read!

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

This book had the least correlation to books that I currently enjoy reading. I had heard so much about this book- like so much. From being a pick in Reese Witherspoon’s book club, to hearing it talked about on podcasts I had high hopes for this novel. Perhaps my hopes were a little too high because this book did not quite meet my expectations. Little Fires Everywhere was about a mother and daughter who move to Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s and essentially the little metaphorical fires that occur in their wake, though not directly their fault. The mother, Mia, was an art student and has never followed society’s norms. She pursues her art, packing up and moving with her daughter when the notion strikes her. This was facer paced read that kept me turning pages, and did touch on many topics that be good fodder for a book clubs; topics ranging from the struggle of an immigrant mother, to abortion, to being considered strange for not fitting in with societal norms. It also had more swearing than I was prepared for. While I’m not sorry I read it, and it posed questions worthy of deeper thought, I won’t be rushing to read more of this type.

Overall I am very happy that I decided to challenge myself in my reading life. I really enjoyed most of the books that I tried and now have a greater understanding of what I enjoy in a book. It isn’t just the setting but also the topics, tone, and imagery used within a book that all make a significant contribution to how much I enjoy my reading experience. I now have a better understanding when branching of what I may enjoy vs. what I probably won’t enjoy, with the added benefit of being able to discern better with in my favorite genre what I will really love instead of just thinking that it is ok.

A Few Tips to Help your Challenge Your Reading Life

What about you? Could you stand to branch out in your reading life? Here are a few tips to get you started! Give it a try! If you’re afraid you won’t like it just remember

  • Try something similar to what you already like to read, if you already enjoy a certain setting for your books, like stories that take place at the beach for example, then try keeping the setting but time era.
  • If you like a certain tone to your reads; fast paced, slow, dark, wistful, etc., try finding a book that has a similar tone but totally different setting.
  • Don’t be afraid to quit a book if you really just can’t make it! We don’t like to be quitters, but really if you are reading something for leisure and are a good part of the way through and still not enjoying it just quit. That book may not be for you but there are tons out there still- go try one of them!

Living As Though Looking Through A Microscope

Living As Though Looking Through A Microscope

by | Feb 21, 2021 | Sunday Scripture

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

My dad was a biology major, it therefore stands to reason that he was probably the most excited I have ever seen him be when in third grade I was learning how to use the microscope and he was able to show me the hidden wonders of the world, revealed through the microscope’s lense. We pulled out his microscope, dusted off the old slides and examined all of them under the microscope. I was hooked! We started looking at other things beside the slides: salt, sugar, hair- oh how the world transformed looking under that lense! I remember when, after examining everything that could possibly be examined we finally stepped back and my eyes readjusting to the real size world around us, again oblivious to the microscopic world that we had just been ensconced in.

I remembered this feeling a few weeks ago sitting in church, I felt a subtle nudge that perhaps I was living life as though looking through that microscope again. Immersed in the close up details of my life, neglecting to pay attention to the rest of the big world going on around me. In my day to day life, with bills that need paid and projects that need worked on, and responsibilities to uphold, it is easy to think that this is the whole of life, that all these minute details are sum of life as a whole- but are they really?

Yes, it is the seemingly inconsequential tasks that fill up the minutes and hours of our days, and therefore our lives- but isn’t it also true that in getting immersed in all the details that we miss the big picture? Scripture reminds us that, “His thoughts are not our thoughts,” and that “His ways are higher than our ways.” They are higher, the bigger, they are better. We get so immersed in the details of our lives that we totally forget the big picture. Yes we were put on this earth to work, do laundry and pay bills. But we were also placed here to love and nurture others, feed the hungry, and share the gospel.

That Sunday I felt the nudge that I had been living too small, too centered on me, myself, I, and right now. God calls us to many small things in this life but He also calls us to many bigger things too. To a life centered on others, not ourselves. We may run a large non profit, we may give someone the nudge that they need to start a bible study that changes yet another person’s life, but if we never look up from our little corner of the world, we will miss the big things going on in the world around us, in which we could yet play a part- if only we look up.

What about you? Have you gotten caught up in life’s grind as well and forgotten that there is a whole big world going on around you? However if you are feeling like there has to be more to life than laundry and dishes I urge you to ask God what His plans are for you, and then to look up from the microscope of your life.

How to Maximize Your Home’s Storage

How to Maximize Your Home’s Storage

by | Feb 20, 2021 | Decorating, Homemaking

Have you noticed that no matter how big our homes are we tend to accumulate enough things to more than fill our home- or am I the only one that thinks this? It takes conscious effort to keep our homes from getting overrun with stuff, and regular purging is always a good idea. But. What happens if you are purging, and you have already tried to organize your home, (see my post on how to organize your home), and it still seems like you don’t have enough room?? Or you have room but you’re having a hard time making your storage functional and fabulous at the same time? This is when you have to get creative to maximizes your home’s storage- enter hidden home storage.

There are lots of little ways to maximize storage in your home for example:

What’s under your bed?

Under your bed is a great place for extra storage. In our guest room, which also doubles as an office, we have a tub on wheels in which we keep extra printer paper, extra file folders, and the like. In our bedroom we use tubs under the bed to store our shoes. Many bedframes have built in drawers underneath the mattress- brilliant!

The Tv Stand

Tv’s are so hard, who wants to decorate around a big tv that we would rather not when we aren’t watching it? Perhaps though we can use it to our advantage! If it can not be hung on a wall then on a stand it must go! Instead of buying a traditional entertainment stand try repurposing a short dresser- that way you can use the drawers as storage but have none of the clutter visible! An added bonus when using a dresser is that the tv cords can drop behind the dresser and no one has to see the mass of wires hiding back there!

The Ottoman

We opted for an Ottoman in our small living area rather than having a coffee table to save space. The plus is that when we bought an ottoman we made sure to get one that opened to contain extra storage inside! It’s so nice that now when I get settled on the couch and immediately decide that I’m cold, I just have to lift my feet and pull out a blanket!

End tables

End tables are a great opportunity to squeeze out some extra home storage too! Some like the ottoman I just mentioned have a lid that you can lift off to reveal storage, while others, like the ones we have, are open underneath and you can fit a cute bin under the table to hold magazines, books, games or whatever else you’re always wishing you had within arms reach!

Chairs

Whether we just have more stuff than people used to, or whether we are just getting smarter about how to hide the amount of things that we have, companies are getting better about building furniture with hidden spots for storage. Some chairs, or chaise lounges have cushions that lift up for maximum storage, so if you are in the market for an accent piece see if you can find one you like with a little extra storage! If you can’t, remember a slim decorative basket slid under the chair can not only look nice but be functional too- what a good place to hide dog toys!

Closets

There are many ways to squeeze extra storage out of a small closet; you can place a hook over the door of your closet to store bags and items you don’t often use. If you have racks that not only have the bar on which to hang your clothes but also have built in racks above them then you can place bins for added storage. I also have a hanging shoe holder in my closet but instead of storing shoes in it I roll my T-shirts and keep them in it! I really like doing this because in a quick glance I can see all the shirts that I have and then I don’t get stuck wearing the same shirts that are on top in my dresser!

Under Cabinets

A wire rack that unfolds into a shelf is great for under the sink, but don’t forget about the magic a good tension rod can do either! Using a tension rod under a sink from which you can hang cleaning bottles will free up space on the bottom of the shelf for more items that you can’t hang! Or in a tall narrow cabinet, use the tension rods vertically as dividers!

I hope this helped to spark some ideas of how to squeeze more storage out of your home, and to do so more beautifully too! For more ideas on how to make your home functional and fabulous check out the book: Beautifully Organized by Nikki Boyd! Stop by and follow me over on Instagram and I would love to see your innovative organizing ideas- just email me at Essentiallyemmamarie@gmail.com!

My Thoughts on America’s First Daughter, and My Dear Hamilton If you didn’t like America’s first daughter should you read my dear Hamilton?

My Thoughts on America’s First Daughter, and My Dear Hamilton If you didn’t like America’s first daughter should you read my dear Hamilton?

by | Feb 19, 2021 | Book Nook

I have stated time and time again how much I love historical fiction, and I am noticing that a subgroup in this genre that I enjoy is biographical historical fiction, where the story is built around what is known about the person from his or her own words, letters, and life events. In addition I absolutely love learning about the revolutionary war and the founding of our country. I can’t get enough of historical fiction from this time period.

Therefore you can imagine my excitement when I found, “America’s First Daughter about Martha “Patsy” Jefferson Randolph, Thomas Jefferson’s Daughter. Here was a book about the revolution, a closer glimpse into Jefferson’s personal life, told through the lense of Thomas Jefferson’s eldest daughter. I started listening to it as an Audio book and at first I was really enjoying it…. then I felt like it started to drag…. Now let me say that reader of the audio book has a very slow reading pace, and honestly I think that impacted how I experienced the book, I believe that if I had nudged up the reading pace it would have held my interest better, as it was I was probably only about a third of the way through the book when it began to feel like a slog.

The other component is that Martha did not lead an overly joyous life, there were happy times, but oh so many hard times too. This book accurately portrays the struggles of the day in the new nation as well as Martha’s personal struggles too. A turbulent childhood at times spent fleeing th British, gave way to a fairly happy adolescent spent abroad in Paris as a diplomat’s daughter, then giving way to a marriage colored by abuse. As a woman in the 18th and early 19th century Martha was no stranger to commonplace domestic violence, the loss of children, as well as financial struggles. I would never wish when reading something of this nature for the authors to paint a rosy picture that did not exist in real life- and there were bright spots to Martha’s life, her close relationship with her father for one- but readers should be prepared to spend time with Martha mourning the loss and traveling with her through the trails of her life, when they pick up this book.

I then saw that the same Authors, Laura Kamoie and Stephanie Dray, had written another book, My Dear Hamilton, which is the life story of Elizabeth Hamilton, better known as Eliza Hamilton. Should I read My Dear Hamilton when I wasn’t thrilled with America’s First Daughter? I was apprehensive to pick up this book but, as I said earlier, I can never resist a book that takes place during the American Revolution, I went for it. I am so glad I did!! I enjoyed learning the story of Eliza Hamilton as well as learning about Alexander Hamilton, one of the founding fathers that really doesn’t get the attention he deserves- probably due in part to the fact that he never became president.

Eliza’s life was not perfect either; loss, scandal, betrayal, and heartbreak were defiantly written across Eliza’s life story. So were happiness, success, fulfillment, and reconciliation. Maybe because this book dwelt more on the happy times of Eliza’s life than America’s First Daughter did on Martha’s, I found My Dear Hamilton to be a very compelling read. I got immersed in Eliza’s world, in the turbulence of the time and I learned of the very interesting life of Alexander Hamilton, a founding father who was a model of the American dream, starting with nothing, and working his way up to eventually be founder of the American Treasury. I also learned how fragile the new nation was, we think because we won the Revolution that everything was fine, but things were much more precarious than that!

Both books tell the stories of strong and resilient women, who along with their famous relatives, fought to forge the great country we have today. In reading either of these books you will become enmeshed in turn of the century America and you will learn a lot about the struggle it took to bring forth this nation.

When I compare the stories of the two women I see that both lived lives of much hardship. Neither led easy lives, however if you read America’s First Daughter and weren’t thrilled, I urge you not to let that stop you from picking up, My Dear Hamilton, and give it a try! Regardless of which book you choose the authors do a wonderful job of bringing both of these women back to life. Both Patsy and Eliza, emerge from the pages as fully formed people with all the flaws and character quirks that we all have. Ms Dray and Ms Kamoie are great writers who you can tell have taken great pains to flesh out their character without changing who these women were. Pick up either book and you will be dropped into a rich portrait of colonial America.