A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
When I hear the word longsuffering, I think of my husband—no jokes please—but it is true! He is very patient and there are days (sometimes a lot of them…) when I am not as lovely of a person as I could be and my husband very patiently puts up with me. Let me tell you a story to demonstrate.
It was several years ago during an exceptionally busy stretch of life when we were both going 100 miles per hour just about all the time. We had gotten up early to go to our church’s early service and were talking about plans for the day. I was listing off item after item and my husband grumbled and kind of snapped at me. “Whoa!” I said exaggeratedly, someone is in a bad mood this morning!” He laughed and said that he would probably need a nap when we got home before he launched into all the things I wanted to do that day. My exaggerated-toned comment had made him laugh and snapped him out of his bad mood.
The following week we were again on our way to church, having a similar conversation as we had the week before, when this time he said something and I grumbled back at him. “Whoa!” he said, “Someone is in a bad mood!” I responded in decidedly not my best customer service voice, “Well you would be too if you had had the week I did!” My husband ducked his head and looked at me out of the corner of his eye before quietly saying that he had just been trying to make the same joke that I had made the week before—the one that had snapped him out of his bad mood. Whoops! The poor guy couldn’t win! I sheepishly squeaked out a laugh and said I had just been kidding when I bit his head off a second before—just to see if he would believe that line. He did not, but thankfully he accepted my apology and I was better after I took a nap that afternoon!
I am not a naturally patient person, which can be good when it comes to getting stuff done and setting plans in place, but generally when I am interacting with others, it can just cause problems. I have been blessed to know several very patient and long-suffering people in my life. These are people who despite having been dealt a tough hand in life still cheerfully keep keeping on and being a blessing to others. While they may have more to complain about on any given day than do I, they don’t. Instead they show up calmly, kindly, with seemingly endless capacity to deal patiently with others, and whatever else life decides to throw at them.
I can’t imagine what Jesus would have been like to be around. I cannot imagine how soothing it must have been to sit in his presence and listen to his teaching, and watch Him interact with others with grace and kindness.
When I come in contact with people to whom God has given a larger portion of gracefulness than He has me, it serves as a good reminder to me that we are to work on developing all the fruits of the spirit to become more like Christ so that others will look heavenward to Jesus who is the only perfect example.
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Have you decorated for fall yet? It always amazes me the cascade of fall photos I see flooding my social media as soon as the calendar flips from August to September, especially since it’s not like the weather flips at the same time! Regardless, by the middle of September I find that I too am ready to start pulling out my fall stuff and preparing myself for the fact that yes, summer is just about over (according to the calendar) and colder but cozier days are ahead.
Color
One of my favorite things about decorating is the array of colors. I love seeing the different color palettes for each season, as well as how they change from year to year. I tend to be a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to the seasonal color palettes. I like the traditional red and green at Christmas—fall is the only time of year when you will find orange in my house. I am really not the biggest fan of that color!
However, this year I have decided to stay a lot more neutral. Perhaps life seems a bit more chaotic this year but I am wanting calm and simple in my décor so for the first time not a speck of orange will make an appearance. Instead, whites and creams, muted shades of green, and just a touch of amber brown will be in my color palette.
This year some of my favorite fall color palettes are:
· Creams, whites, greens, and navy
· Whites, creams, browns, and burnt orange
· Whites, creams, and deep purples
· Very saturated burnt orange, wine red, and mustard yellow—because it is fall!
Going Simple but Keeping the Details
I’m not going crazy this year creating elaborate vignettes and looking for more surfaces to decorate; instead I’m keeping my vignettes simple (check out my post Vignettes: Tell Me a Story for details on what exactly a vignette is) and adding a few subtle touches such as a dried sprig peeking from under a pumpkin, or just dried wheat rather than a flower arrangement in a vase.
Limited Color Palette
I have talked a lot about color palettes, (see my post about creating a cohesive color palette here, and how to use a color palette here) but this year I am really keeping it simple with just neutrals, and a touch of brown and green. If you are feeling the need to bring cohesion to your decor, or to simplify your decorating, just pick 3 colors, and only use decor if it is in that color family.
Bringing in Nature
Nature never goes out of style and thank heaven for small blessings like that! Take a walk outside and gather some branches, acorns, and pinecones and use them in a vase or an accent bowl in your house. I can get carried away adding different elements and colors to my accent bowl but this year I did reel myself in and stuck with my color palette and am very happy with it.
Lights
Whether it’s real candles, lanterns, fairy lights or cafe lights, a little bit of light added in small doses can go very far in creating a cozy feel.
Creating One or Two Showstoppers
Rather than creating a bunch of different small vignettes, create one or two really nice ones and let the rest go. I really enjoy creating a centerpiece. Our home is fairly open and the table is visible from every living area in our house so a fall centerpiece goes a long way to adding the seasonal element to our home. Check out my post on Fall Centerpiece Ideas for more fall decorating inspiration.
I hope this helps give you some fall decorating inspiration! What are some of your favorite fall decorating ideas this year? I’d love to hear from you! Connect with me on Pinterest and Instagram where im@essentiallyemmamarie. I look forward to hearing from you!
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And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
It was a normal Thursday morning as I got ready to leave for work that day. I was talking to my mother on the phone about what our plans were for the day and I mentioned that we had a couple of friends coming over for dinner that evening. “Oh good!” my mom said, sounding much more pleasantly surprised than I figured she would. I hung up with her and continued to think about why she might have sounded so surprised… then it dawned on me—we hardly ever have people over during the week.
Both my husband and I work very full schedules during the week so times to meet with friends during the week are few and far between and, quite frankly, not something we prioritize if we can just meet with them on the weekend. This time however, it had sounded fun to have company over on a week night and everything had fallen into place quite easily.
I want to be someone that always welcomes people into my home—really I do! And not just on weekends… Naturally all this started me thinking about how we are supposed to have community, how we are supposed to be intentional about building community, and being in our community. So much of the discussion within the church today focuses on being in community—within the church. But what about building a community within your neighborhood and city?
One of our good family friends is a great community builder. She lived for years in a little house (tiny by the standards of most houses today) and had a nice, but modest backyard. She was always inviting people to her home! Bible studies, large gatherings of a huge variety of people and neighbors. Then she moved a few years ago, far enough away that she had to start rebuilding her community. And she’s been doing it! It is the everyday opportunities like inviting the neighbors over when she’s having a cookout for her granddaughter’s birthday. It is helping connect neighbors in the winter when there’s a big snowstorm and the neighbor needs a plow and the one with the plow could use some cash that plowing would provide. It’s taking one of the many vegetables over to another neighbor in the summer when the garden is producing faster than food can be picked, preserved, and put away. These are the things that build community.
Today, the date this post is being published, is the 21st anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the twin towers in New York City. We saw a powerful representation of community that day and over the days and weeks that followed as people banded together to help piece back their lives. Oftentimes this was stranger-helping-stranger, communities being built out of ruin.
In the first church Paul was a great community builder. We see this in his letters when he lists off all the people he wants to greet—many of these are people he hadn’t even met yet! Correspondence had been passed between him and these members and even before he arrived in some of the regions. He had started to build a community. Imagine being a community creator like that!
How can you start to create community where you are today? Can you connect people with other people to help meet mutual needs? Can you babysit for the single mother in your neighborhood? Can you host a game night or have a campfire and invite your neighbors to stop by? All of these things help build community and, most importantly, all of these things allow us a chance to show Christ’s love through us, and that is something Christians are called to do.
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We are all talking about how much things (namely gas and food) have gone up and how much they are continuing to go up at the present moment. While there may be no end in sight to these increases, and while we may have no control over how much they go up, we have some control over how much food we buy, and there are some things we can do to help mitigate the rising costs of food.
Meal Plan
I don’t know how people live who don’t meal plan! I know they do because my mother doesn’t meal plan and I don’t remember too many instances of going hungry as a child- so it can be done- but a meal plan solves soo many problems! You can read all about my weekly meal planning and food prepping in this post (how I meal prep so I basically only cook once a week) but here are some tips for making a meal plan.
Look In Your Fridge
Do you have a bunch of spinach that’s about to go bad? Maybe it’s time to make a big pot of soup with spinach before it can expire!
Keep a Clean Fridge
I realized the other day (a little too late) that we currently have 3 open jars of pasta sauce in our fridge. The shelf in my fridge where I keep all the open jar items is a tad (wayyy) too cluttered and therefore we can’t see what we have and multiple items get opened leading to higher waste. If you (and me!) keep a tidier fridge then you can see what you have and this kind of waste doesn’t happen!
Freeze
If you come across something in your fridge that’s about to go bad and that you can’t use, please throw it out. Speaking of throwing out, do you find yourself throwing out the same thing week after week? If so then you probably can stop buying it.
Use the Same Protein Multiple Ways
Try repurposing the same protein throughout the week if you will: start with a whole chicken in the crockpot on Monday, chicken stuffed croissants on Tuesday, chicken enchiladas on Wednesday, chicken Caesar salads on Thursday and homemade chicken BBQ Pizza on Friday! Yes you may start to tire of chicken by Friday but you can switch up your protein the next week, and this way you save by 1) using all of the chicken before it goes bad, and 2) only buying one protein, and buying it in bulk so it’s cheaper!
Plan around deals
Every week, stores send out flyers advertising what they have on sale. Do you ever look at these? These are usually the best deals on food you’ll find. Then plan your meals around these items, or simply use it as an opportunity to stock up while things are at a lower price- don’t go crazy buying more than you’ll ever use though!
It can be a pain to go to different stores to get the best price but a lot of times it is worth it; what’s more is many stores will match their competitors’ prices for the same exact item! It has to be the exact same thing so be sure to look at the details before asking one store to honor another store’s pricing. Many of these sales are while supplies last but not all of them. If you go to the store for the advertised item and they are out, try asking and see if you can have a raincheck, meaning the store will honor the advertised pricing when they get the item back in stock, sometimes this works!
Buy in Bulk
Buying in bulk can be a way to go broke saving money, and a way to over buy but if you have staple items that you regularly eat (I’m looking at you ramen noodles!) you can often save money buying things in bulk. I don’t just mean buying at Costco or Sam’s Club, sometimes a store will give you a discount if you buy a whole case of an item, like peanut butter, granola bars, or tortilla’s. Talk to a manager and find out!
Coupons
I’m not a big fan of coupons but they are a very valid way to save- especially if you like name brand items! Once again look over the weekly coupons and take these into account when doing your meal planning.
Shop at the Cheapest store
Nationally, Aldi tends to be the most inexpensive grocery store, followed by Costco, then Walmart. Meanwhile don’t neglect your mom and pop stores and farm markets as they often have great deals and it supports the local economy and often the food from these places tends to be fresher meaning it will last longer, and therefore you will throw out less.
Eat in Season
As mentioned above, eating things that are in season means they will be cheaper and following the seasons in your region is a great way to add variation to your meals. We all get into meal ruts, try browsing your local farmers market to see what item you’ve forgotten about and see how you can incorporate it!
Quit the Junk Food
We know junk food and baked goods aren’t the best for us, but we still end up buying them. Instead try making your own baked goods; if you can’t bring yourself to spend the time making them how important are they to you really?
Buy frozen
It amazes me how much cheaper frozen fruit is than fresh. This goes for some frozen vegetables as well. Many times frozen will work just as well if not better (in a smoothie for example) so try buying frozen if you consume a lot of fresh fruit!
Canned
Same thing goes for canned as frozen- it can be a great way to save, and if you are buying these items for a soup it can be a much more reasonable option!
I know none of these tips are exactly rocket science but it really is all the little things that we can do that add up to big savings!
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When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.
John 11:33
I like to fill things. It is not my natural tendency to leave blank space—anywhere! I like to fill in the areas of my house but I know the eye likes blank space for rest. I like to fill my calendar but over the years I have learned I do best when I don’t fill it to the brim. I need breathing room for my soul. I like to fill the silences but I learned that sometimes it is best when I leave silence.
I never know what to say to someone who is grieving. Do I try to say something? Will it be the wrong thing? Do I not say anything and risk them thinking I don’t care? How much is just enough to say? I try to avoid the clichés but sometimes they feel like the right thing to say: “I’m so sorry, that’s so hard. I can’t imagine.” But all those seem appropriate to me!
A few years ago, right after my grandfather died, I remember telling one of my friends the news. “Oh I hate that!” she exclaimed. That was it. I agreed. It was just the right amount of words for her to say and it was all that really needed said because it was so true—I hated it too! It felt like my friend felt my pain, that she sat with me in it. We didn’t dwell on my grandfather’s death for a long time, but just long enough.
I am reminded of the passage in the Bible wherein Lazarus dies. Jesus takes His time going to His friends and Lazarus’s sisters, Mary and Martha. The sisters don’t understand what took so long. Why didn’t Jesus come quickly? Didn’t He care? Martha says as much to Jesus when he arrives. (You have to love that about Martha—say what you will about her but you never have to wonder what is going through her mind!). Jesus tells Martha that Lazarus was just resting which probably had her scratching her head because they knew Lazarus was dead—they had put him in the ground themselves! But then Jesus weeps. He sits with the sisters in their pain. Then He raises Lazarus from the dead.
Why did Jesus sit and weep with the sisters? Why didn’t He just go and raise Lazarus? There are a lot of possible answers to this question that we will never know but part of me thinks Jesus did it because He knew we would need an example. We would need an example of someone to just sit with us in our sorrow. I think He knew that we would need the example of someone who would just say, “Yeah, this is hard. It hurts. I hate it.” and then just sit with us and feel our pain. He could have told the sisters that it would all be okay (because it really would in this case!). He could have told them He knew how they felt. He could have said and done so many things but all He did at first was sit and weep.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us,” for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” We don’t like pain and as humans we do everything we can to avoid it. But some pain, like the death of a loved one, is unavoidable in this life. When pain comes to us, or someone we know, sometimes we just need to sit in it. To feel the pain and let it start to run its course. Sometimes all we need is someone to sit with us.
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